Merry Mishaps

 

I had illusions of how I would bring wonder to the holidays, especially as I was seeing the wonder unfold in my toddler’s eyes as he took in the sights and sounds. He’s three, and this year was really the year he started expressing interest in the holidays. I bought lights for my wooden Scandinavian Christmas tree and chocolate Advent calendars for him and me. He and I sang holiday songs together (he really only knows two – Jingle Bells and We Wish You a Merry Christmas, but he put in honest effort for Frosty the Snowman and Joy to the World). When daydreaming about our upcoming trip to Williamsburg, Virginia, I had visions of him staring in awe at the lights and decor around town and at Busch Gardens’ Christmas Town, his face lit up with glee during his first ride at an amusement park, him excitedly pointing out the different scenes during a drive through winter light displays. As one of my grandmothers would say, “Write all your plans in pencil.” Maybe November was foreshadowing, or maybe we just hit an unlucky streak, but holiday plans started unraveling months earlier.

Over Veterans Day weekend, my mom, my sisters and their families, and my husband, son, and I were to travel to Edisto Island, South Carolina, for some Lowcountry leisure. Instead, a hurricane forced us to cancel and regroup in Greensboro, North Carolina. We still had a great time together, but our weekend definitely did not match expectations and hopes (my brother-in-law recently mentioned that his “soul is still crushed”). Thankfully, modern weather technology prevented us from driving six additional hours into high winds and a rained-out stay where we’d have been stuck indoors. We took advantage of the better weather in North Carolina to get outside, visit our beloved science center, take walks, and visit with friends. Our company kept us happy and we still had fun, despite sorely missing the beach.

For Thanksgiving, my mom, twin sister, and nephew were to join me in Northern Virginia, and then we were going to have our feast and fellowship with my husband’s family in Maryland. The flu had other plans for us. One by one we went down in my household, and any possibility of seeing anyone (let alone leaving the house) was vanquished. At the beginning of the week, I was feeling the opposite of grateful for my circumstances, and yet somehow gratitude still emerged at the end of the week. I had a fever hovering around 103 for days, and during one of those days I just couldn’t function: couldn’t stay upright, couldn’t keep my eyes open, could barely think due to exhaustion. I was grateful that I had a partner who could stay with our kid while I was able to sleep for hours, giving me the rest I so badly needed. My husband and I were both happy to have a full week at home with our son, sharing special time together that almost seemed to stretch out in a good way, time that typically flies while we’re working and while he’s at preschool. I was grateful for my brother- and sister-in-law, who stopped by our house to drop off two cool light-up airplanes, helping their nephew avoid cabin fever.

Christmas was wild: 

• My niece had an ear infection requiring antibiotics, and before they left town my sister and brother-in-law had to call around pharmacies to find the medication as there was a shortage of antibiotics in their area. Luckily they found some!
• My nephew developed a respiratory virus that required fever reducers, a mask on almost all the time (hooray for KN95s that fit children!), and lots of wiping things down with disinfecting wipes. 
• High winds and extreme cold (with negative wind chill) canceled our Busch Gardens plans, so instead we sat inside playing board games and decorating a gingerbread house. 
• In the wee small hours of Christmas Eve, my husband and I woke to a frigid room and discovered that the heat pump was struggling. Our toddler normally doesn’t sleep in our room/bed but that morning we were all huddled together to stay warm! Later, when I learned that migrants were bused to D.C. on Christmas Eve without adequate clothing or confirmed shelter and the temps were in the teens, I quickly quit complaining about our room being cold, especially given that our heat was fixed by that evening.
• There’s nothing like a blaring fire alarm and running down three flights of stairs while carrying a crying three-year-old who’s frightened by the noise to really wake you up on Christmas morning! A sprinkler system’s pipes froze and burst, flooding another timeshare guest’s suite. We didn’t know what had happened at first (my first thought was someone cooking forgot something in the oven and started a fire), and as we were trying to get out of our building we were blocked by a river of water gushing down the stairs before taking another stairwell. We were all trying to find winter coats, get kids into cars to keep them warm, figure out if we were going to have to move buildings (or even leave early), etc. The worst feeling came when I saw people coming out of their suite and the river pouring out of their front door, a wall of water floating down to the ground below. After the ruckus died down and we were able to return to our rooms, and as we sipped our Christmas champagne a little earlier than planned to settle our nerves, I sent up a silent prayer of gratitude that it wasn’t us, and one asking for help for the family who was affected. I can’t imagine the stress they endured.

Our Christmas vacation sounds terrible when I put it all like that, but our time together was actually quite wonderful. We enjoyed lots of lazy days around a travel Christmas tree and cozy electric heater that looks like a fireplace, hot cocoa bombs and coffee (and wine!) to keep spirits high, board games and card games and computer games, animated Advent calendars, beloved movies, and even some bracing walks outside in the cold (bundled up to the max!). Everyone just adapted and kept their chins up.

My husband and I had one more incident of planned family time being foiled: our New Year’s Eve weekend plans were canceled due to a case of COVID in our toddler’s daycare classroom. Disappointment reared its ugly head again, but we made do with a family Zoom call, games, walks outside, treating ourselves to Duck Donuts, movies at home, etc. (I know we’re all sick of Zoom calls and yet I’m also still grateful for them.)

If there were a theme to my whole autumn/winter holiday season, some might say it’s “a series of unfortunate events.” Those who are more optimistic might say “merry mishaps.” People less optimistic might say, “reasons to never expect anything so you can avoid disappointment.” I don’t actually assign a theme to my holiday seasons, but I can say that what I’ve discovered in the past few months is unexpected delight and deep gratitude. My visions of wonder didn’t come to pass, but instead our time was wonder-full because of the connection with loved ones, and the love and laughter that transcended any noise created by fire alarms or weather forecasts or family conversations about pivoting our plans. We experienced each other’s grace with disappointing news, and together we found fun in the circumstances and just rolled with whatever life was throwing at us. In my opinion, that lesson and experience is the best gift I could have given my kid, and it wasn’t from me–it was from all of us, him included, being good sports and embracing gratitude as our attitude.

Happy New Year. Wishing you unexpected delight and deep gratitude all year long.