Boosts

Some days it's hard to find wonder in anything.

I'm tired. I'm tired of people scheduling back-to-back meetings without breaks in between, or meetings on top of meetings when my calendar already indicated I was busy, or meetings that are five hours long with only one 15-minute break. When am I supposed to feed my baby or run to the restroom? I'm tired of looking at family on a screen instead of in person. I'm tired of wishing for things that seem to get further and farther away. I'm tired of articles on managing burnout when they really don't solve the problems of an existing system or infrastructure. I'm tired of seeing our black brothers and sisters being killed for being human. I'm tired of the lack of leadership at the top (the only news clips I currently see of Trump speaking are on Saturday Night Live, because that's the only way I can stomach them). 

I asked myself recently if I've found wonder in anything at all, and I came up with nothing. So I didn't write about anything. 

But then I started noticing small pockets of happiness spring up like the dandelions in my front yard. I'd exercise and feel really strong, happy, and grateful. I noticed in my five-year journal that this time last year, I was in so much pain that I couldn't bend down to pet or feed my cats (post C-section). I've come a long way, and that's something to celebrate! I've noticed small improvements in my yoga form/postures that make me feel like I'm closer and closer to my pre-pregnancy abilities.

Today I allowed myself to get lost in the beginning of a new book. I didn't have much time, but for about ten minutes I savored the start of what is surely going to be a fun read. It felt decadent. 

And as I look back over the past several days, nothing stands out as extraordinary but it doesn't seem so bleak as I thought it was. We walked in the sunshine. We put on music that moved us (literally -- we were dancing! -- and emotionally). We found reasons to laugh and we kept trying to sustain that joy.

I found inspiration in my pastor, who week after week ties scripture to what's going on with the world in the middle of a pandemic, translating words that were written centuries ago into relevant, useful, and impactful messages today. She's someone who feels the weight of the world on her shoulders (I seriously feel for pastors and therapists right now!) and yet she is able to spread hope in an authentic and honest way. 

A friend of mine gave Oliver several books that are science for babies. One was rocket science for babies, and as I thought about writing this blog post, I thought: I'll write about the rocket booster! I remembered from our reading that the rocket has a boost to help it get out of Earth's atmosphere. 

Friends, this is why I'm not a rocket scientist. It's not called boost. It's called thrust. 

But still, you get my point, right? Besides, "boost" sounds better than "thrust." This isn't that type of blog. Let's just leave it at that. 

Sometimes I feel myself lagging, but then I find a boost. Or it finds me.

Here's what I'm wondering:

What's boosted you lately?

Someone wrote a book on rocket science for babies! That, to me, is full of wonder! Also, quantum physics for babies is much kinder to my brain than general relativity for babies.