Arrows

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash.

One year ago, my baby was in a low, head-down position, perfect for birth, and my body was already preparing for labor. But days later, he flipped upside down into a breech position. The act of him turning upside down was painful physically (it woke me up out of sleep and made me wonder if I was going into labor) and emotionally (I hadn't prepared for major surgery). Not only did he determine how I was going to deliver him (two weeks later via C-section), he also determined when (my water broke the day before my scheduled surgery).

That was my first experience in seeing first-hand that Oliver follows his own path regardless of what I plan or where I aim. Of course I can try and set him up for success and give him as much guidance and love and encouragement as possible, but I try to remind myself that I don't own him. I'm his bow and he's my arrow (I didn't make that up...it's something I heard a long time ago and it stuck). It can be difficult and scary and frustrating to relinquish control over things, but sometimes there's so much beauty in letting go.

Of course there are some areas in which we want to influence the outcome, like with kids. Parents want their children to be happy, healthy, safe, and successful. The same goes for environmental stewardship (tomorrow is Earth Day but isn't every day Earth Day?). I strongly advocate that we all try to mitigate the harmful effects of pollution and poor policies, and that we do our best to protect the planet and all its inhabitants. We can't control the weather but we can influence climate change outcomes.

I recently sat down and wrote a lot more in the second novel I'm working on. It felt wonderful to get back to it. I experienced the same rush of excitement and anxiety as I did when writing my first. Putting it out into the world is a fearful act, because you know it will never be perfect and it won't please everybody. But it's also a brave, rewarding, satisfying, humbling, thrilling, and growth-inducing act. It's another arrow.

Here's what I'm wondering:

What are your arrows? How long before you let them fly?